Teacher Therapy Thursday

I am writing this at the beginning of the year to tell you about one of the most impactful missteps I made as an educator. I hope you will listen and learn what not to do from me. This misstep was failing to set boundaries as a public classroom teacher — honestly, there were absolutely no boundaries — no boundaries to protect my personal life, my money, my mental health, my social life, etc. I gave everything I had to my job and the mission of education. Unless you have an amazing administrator who looks out for his/her staff’s well-being like Principal Lamb With A Cart, the reality is no one will look out for you unless you do. My father always said, “If you give them an inch they will take a mile and give you more.” He encouraged me to set boundaries, but I wanted to be the best teacher I could be, and in the end, the costs did not outweigh the benefits. Keep reading, you will find out what I mean.

If nothing else this year, I encourage you to work on setting boundaries and caring for yourself. Here is why…

Let’s face it! Teachers are being presented with challenges in the classroom like never before. I may not currently be in the classroom due to unforeseen circumstances, but my husband has been a public school teacher for 27 years, so I still live within the educational universe with him. The stories he shares with me of life in the classroom today make me wonder if we will ever again have life-long educators in our public school systems. We have highly-educated and capable teachers in this world, so there isn’t a teacher shortage. These teachers are simply no longer in the classroom. If you haven’t watched Burntoutteachers on FB or Instagram, she acts out insightful and hilarious stories from teachers. Need a laugh? Check her page out!

During my first year of teaching in a large school district in Tennessee with 183 schools, I was introduced to the concept of “critical” friends— a program the city school district implemented. “Critical” friends would randomly visit teachers’ classrooms and scope everything from how you displayed your student work with rubrics, objectives, etc, to how your students’ seating was arranged. I once was reported to the principal because my students happen to be in rows when they visited. Normally, they were in groups (mandated by the district), but on this day, they happened to be in rows. The reason, I cannot remember. I tell no lie! My degree did not prepare me for the micromanagement we as teachers faced on (1) how I arranged my students’ desks (2) if students’ work was accurately displayed on the walls, or (3) the strategies I used to teach the curriculum (4) if you were sitting behind your desk or walking the classroom from one learning station to the next (5) if my student were working in cooperative groups or individually.

My stress levels were at their highest and beyond planning lessons, grading papers, parent communication, etc., I would spend hours upon hours displaying work for the “dog and pony” show the district required. I felt extreme pressure to make my classroom look “perfect” for these unexpected, random visits. It seemed the district cared more about appearances than the actual quality of education the students were getting. It was frustrating!

Did it make me a better teacher? I would have to say yes, but it also forced me out of the classroom as I was working 80-hour weeks just to meet the district requirements and my body was reaping the consequences. I did learn a great deal about raising the bar and implementing higher-level thinking skills, so gained from the experience, but I believe with my commitment, I would have been a strong teacher without the added intense pressure.

So, where did I go wrong? I didn’t set boundaries until I was already way past burnout. In order to remain “a good and effective teacher,” I was working impractical hours trying to meet the demands. But years after I burned myself out and while I was in the classroom, here is what I learned in the end:

Setting Boundaries

It’s hard to set boundaries when you see the work piling up and always feel you are behind. What does setting boundaries look like and how do you do it? You learn to say, “No.” That is it. You learn to say no to working late hours into the night and weekends. You learn to say “no” to additional after-school responsibilities. If you are old enough to remember the “Just Say No” campaign to drugs campaign in the 80’s. We need a campaign to encourage teachers to “Just Say No” to giving 100% of your life to work. Because in all honesty, if you give it no one will stop you, and they may expect more from you because you are good at what you do. Now, don’t get me wrong. Do I think teaching requires after-hour tasks? —Yes, I do. But set boundaries of how many hours you will allow yourself to work outside the classroom. If school lets out at 3:15pm, don’t work past 5pm. Either work at school and leave it there, or if you bring it home, set a timer and once the timer is off, shut it down! It may also mean not grading everything; chose what of the student’s work you will give effort credits for versus an actual grade. If you have 150 students, it is impossible to grade 150 assignments a day. You can’t grade everything. Our school system will continue to dehydrate us unless we get a generation that starts to say, “No.”

Perfection is Not Reachable

I am a perfectionist, type-A teacher who did not know how to set boundaries. The more I strived for perfection, the more the district required of me. There was no way I was ever going to reach their expectations 100% of the time., and I tried to every day. Trying to reach unrealistic requirements of a human (we are not perfect by any means) just drove me into a place of ongoing stress and frustration, which in turn affected my physical health. Teacher friends, your health is much more important than the district’s requirements. I plead with you — take care of YOU first and foremost. Put YOURSELF first. Once health issues kick in, life gets harder. Trust me; I know. Stress can do unimaginable things to your body, including compromising your immunity. So again, learn from my mistake and insist that you are worth quality of life. Don’t give power to those making all the demands, because the truth is they won’t be there when you are mentally or physically unwell.

Protecting Your Energy and Mental Health

To prioritize time to rest and replenish your emotional energy cup, you must learn to know when to say, “No.” Now is the time to make a decision to set boundaries between your work and home life. It is up to you to take back your life!

TEACHER THERAPY

As teachers, we are often overworked and pulled in too many directions. We often put others before ourselves, and it is difficult to learn to take care of ourselves. Addressing mental health is part of self-care for our minds, bodies, and souls. Remember, if your cup is empty, you can’t fill someone else’s cup. Here are 27 FREE COUNSELING OPTIONS FOR

TEACHERS https://www.weareteachers.com/free-counseling-for-teachers/

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